Why now?

Please. Everything is enough. I am very tired for all this jokes!
One minute you want me to study, another minute you want me work.
What should I really do? What should I really listen?
When I don't feel like study, you keep forcing me to go for further study.
Now, when I make up my mind and search for courses and stuff,
Then another person of you told me NO. No need.
Why must you give me hope in this minute then break everything in the another minute.
I am really feel sick with all this thing.
Why now? Why went I got the heart to study only breaks everything!
Hey! STOP IT.
Now who should I talk to? get advise from who? I don't know. You just make me scare!
I dare not turn to anyone anymore.
You make me feel very bad now.
You make me not to trust anyone anymore.
You make me dare not talk to people anymore.

I just feel like giving up everything!
Let go everything
To somewhere far and nice..........................................................