Thursday, February 20


Because of my stubbornness,  I fall sick.  I never been this sick before. I thought that I can overcome this sickness but I was wrong. When the doctor was so serious and look at me, I know I am very sick.  He asked me why do I still go to work even when I have high fever already for 3 days.  I did not answer. 

I really thought that I can still manage my job. I wanted to clear off my job before I take my mc. I know that I have so many things that I haven't do. I know that people around me is chasing things.  I know that my boss is not happy with how I work. That's why I want to clear everything before I sick. But who am I to control when I get sick and when I don't. I am a stubborn person.  I went to work although I know how sick I am. Ended up I get worst and the work that I tried to do, I messed it up. So I left more mess for my bosses.
What happen to me is even worst. I can't even get up from my bed for 1 and a half day. Mom was so worried and nag me about my work. She ask me to give up this work if this is what happen to me. I couldn't eat for that 3 days. For the sake of taking medicine,  I have to force myself to eat tasteless biscuits with milo. I can't even finish the biscuit and milo. I know mom is angry with me. But I just can't eat. She can't do anything but just continue serving me biscuit and milo when the time to take medicine comes. 

Luckily now I am feeling better. Of course not completely recover but at least can manage to disguise. Told mom that I am much more better than I am now. Doesn't want her to worry and stop me from going to work.

Why am I so stubborn?  Sherina, stop being so stubborn.  No one will understand and appreciate. . .

Saturday, February 8

A shoulder to cry on

It has been sleepless night. I know my body can't take it anymore. Looking at mom sick, I know that I should not fall sick. But, my mind do not allowed me to rest. It seems that my mind like to wander around at things that I should not even be thinking or problems that I can't solve.
Can I have a shoulder to really cry my heart out to release?

Friday, February 7

Random thoughts of mine

A million feelings. A thousand thoughts. A hundred memories. All for one person.
As I woke up in the morning,
I found out that I lost my gold ring,
It same goes for my feeling,
It has no more meaning.
A million feelings. A thousand thoughts. A hundred memories. All for one person.

From happiness to confusion and now confused happiness. It's all linked together. It's okay for you to not understand what I am trying to say. It's no longer something that I wished to understand too. I exhausted myself a lot. Perhaps I should stop to try. No matter how much I try to do or what I have done, now I feel it's not getting anywhere. It's useless. I am tired for doing things that people don't appreciate or take me for granted.
I might look like I am strong but I am not.

Wednesday, February 5

I want to dislike you

Rúguǒ wǒmen cónglái méiyǒu yùjiàn
If only we have never met before

Rúguǒ nà yītiān nǐ méi duō kàn wǒ yīyǎn
If only that day you didn't take a second glance at me

Wǒ jiù bù huì xiàn jìn tián kǔ zhī jiān
Then I wouldn't have been trapped in between sweet and bitterness

Hái dānxīn shǎng wèi qíxiàn
Worrying about taste of time

Second verse:
Wǒ de yòngxīn nǐ cóng méiyǒu fāxiàn
My gesture of kindness that you never realize 

Rúguǒ zhèyàng wǒ shìfǒu gāi shuō zàijiàn
Should this be the reason for me to say goodbye

Dàoshǔ zài yīqǐ hái yǒu jǐ tiān
Counting down the days that we can be together again

Gǎnjué xìngfú jiù chà yīdiǎn
Feels like happiness is getting closer

Zhǐ néng huànxiǎng yīqǐ, dàn wǒ méi yǒngqì
I could only imagine us being together, but I don't have the courage

Suǒyǐ hěn xiǎng tǎoyàn nǐ
That's why I really wish I could dislike you

Ài zěn méiyǒu xiànqí
why doesn't love have a deadline

Rú nǐ shuō céngjīng zàiyì
if you said you once cared

Huì ràng wǒ hòuhuǐ tàiguò yāyì
That would make me regret for repressing my feelings

Zhǐ néng huànxiǎng tiánmì, wǒ bùnéng zìyǐ
I could only picture the sweetness, I can't help myself

Suǒyǐ hěn xiǎng tǎoyàn nǐ
That's why really want to dislike you

Méiyǒu nǐ de kōngqì, wǒ yào zěnme hūxī
How could I breath the air without you

Xiǎngshòu wǒmen zhī jiān xìngfú jùlí, xīndòng de huíyì
Enjoying the distance of happiness between us, heartbeat memories.

Tuesday, February 4

Closed stranger

At times it seems that they are close to each other but at times they are like strangers that walk together.  Either they dare not show their true feelings or they do not have feelings for each other. 

Monday, February 3


I have a lot in my list.
But I chose not to go ahead to ask.