Today back to the place I hate to be. Lying down for 45 minutes for the sake of the scans really make me nuts. Tears rolling down hoping I will be strong.
Monday, June 2
Sunday, May 18
Monday, April 21
Thursday, February 20
Because of my stubbornness, I fall sick. I never been this sick before. I thought that I can overcome this sickness but I was wrong. When the doctor was so serious and look at me, I know I am very sick. He asked me why do I still go to work even when I have high fever already for 3 days. I did not answer.
I really thought that I can still manage my job. I wanted to clear off my job before I take my mc. I know that I have so many things that I haven't do. I know that people around me is chasing things. I know that my boss is not happy with how I work. That's why I want to clear everything before I sick. But who am I to control when I get sick and when I don't. I am a stubborn person. I went to work although I know how sick I am. Ended up I get worst and the work that I tried to do, I messed it up. So I left more mess for my bosses.
What happen to me is even worst. I can't even get up from my bed for 1 and a half day. Mom was so worried and nag me about my work. She ask me to give up this work if this is what happen to me. I couldn't eat for that 3 days. For the sake of taking medicine, I have to force myself to eat tasteless biscuits with milo. I can't even finish the biscuit and milo. I know mom is angry with me. But I just can't eat. She can't do anything but just continue serving me biscuit and milo when the time to take medicine comes.
Luckily now I am feeling better. Of course not completely recover but at least can manage to disguise. Told mom that I am much more better than I am now. Doesn't want her to worry and stop me from going to work.
Why am I so stubborn? Sherina, stop being so stubborn. No one will understand and appreciate. . .
Saturday, February 8
Can I have a shoulder to really cry my heart out to release?
Friday, February 7
From happiness to confusion and now confused happiness. It's all linked together. It's okay for you to not understand what I am trying to say. It's no longer something that I wished to understand too. I exhausted myself a lot. Perhaps I should stop to try. No matter how much I try to do or what I have done, now I feel it's not getting anywhere. It's useless. I am tired for doing things that people don't appreciate or take me for granted.
I might look like I am strong but I am not.
Wednesday, February 5
Rúguǒ wǒmen cónglái méiyǒu yùjiàn
If only we have never met before
Rúguǒ nà yītiān nǐ méi duō kàn wǒ yīyǎn
If only that day you didn't take a second glance at me
Wǒ jiù bù huì xiàn jìn tián kǔ zhī jiān
Then I wouldn't have been trapped in between sweet and bitterness
Hái dānxīn shǎng wèi qíxiàn
Worrying about taste of time
Wǒ de yòngxīn nǐ cóng méiyǒu fāxiàn
My gesture of kindness that you never realize
Rúguǒ zhèyàng wǒ shìfǒu gāi shuō zàijiàn
Should this be the reason for me to say goodbye
Dàoshǔ zài yīqǐ hái yǒu jǐ tiān
Counting down the days that we can be together again
Gǎnjué xìngfú jiù chà yīdiǎn
Feels like happiness is getting closer
Zhǐ néng huànxiǎng yīqǐ, dàn wǒ méi yǒngqì
I could only imagine us being together, but I don't have the courage
Suǒyǐ hěn xiǎng tǎoyàn nǐ
That's why I really wish I could dislike you
Ài zěn méiyǒu xiànqí
why doesn't love have a deadline
Rú nǐ shuō céngjīng zàiyì
if you said you once cared
Huì ràng wǒ hòuhuǐ tàiguò yāyì
That would make me regret for repressing my feelings
Zhǐ néng huànxiǎng tiánmì, wǒ bùnéng zìyǐ
I could only picture the sweetness, I can't help myself
Suǒyǐ hěn xiǎng tǎoyàn nǐ
That's why really want to dislike you
Méiyǒu nǐ de kōngqì, wǒ yào zěnme hūxī
How could I breath the air without you
Xiǎngshòu wǒmen zhī jiān xìngfú jùlí, xīndòng de huíyì
Enjoying the distance of happiness between us, heartbeat memories.