College online

Well, I'm in life college now. Hehe...

Still not really sure whether I am going for the camp. I hope to go but in the same I don't. Not only because of my mom but I don't know lah..... Haiz

Later want to sleep all time! Yahoooooooooo

Friday blues?

Not sure what happen to my shoulder.. Ouchie!

Not so happy today but happy for something...

Today sick

Well, a big hug.... I need.

Oh, peoples, haha.. I have a news.. very common news...
I AM SICK!!!

My mom is like... "Sherina, please don't eat spicy food. Drink more water."
Doctor is like "You took spicy food? Not enough water"
Someone is like "Drink more water"

At 6.00 p.m. today, mommy ask me to buy dinner. Went out "ta pau" food from the malay stall - puasa de.. All spicy! Muahahahaha..

My eyes are heavy now, head also, mind also.. And later, people will ask me to rest early...

Haiz...


Oh yea, Elisa, maybe a good news to you, I MIGHT able to come for the camp... Hehe..

Closing myself in the closet

I can’t put any words together now.
I can’t describe anything thing now.
I can’t do anything now.
I can’t think anything now.
I can’t, I can’t.

Things went ugly.
My plans are always stupid.
My heart is soft like a jelly.
Now I am nobody.

I am sorry
I am guilty
I am regret
I am stupid
I am crazy
I am selfish
I am bad
I am evil
I am cruel
I am; I am

Now, I am sick.

-Not using phone now-

[Friday] + [someone]

Well it’s another Saturday. My hands are a little bit itchy now. They want to touch the guitar and piano. Too bad, I am not in bumble bee now. =) I will go later in the noon.

Today I miss someone very much. Don’t ask me why because I will tell you in the end of the post. =)

Oh yea, had a great time yesterday in cell especially with Elisa’s game – the zombie game. Elisa said we will have nightmares. Those zombie – Gabriel especially, really zombie. Got it? =)
When I first become the zombie they said “What zombie is this? Like gold fish.” =.=’’ Another say “Yer, why this zombie so cute?” =.= Speechless. ;(

Yer + cute = ???

Anyway, we had a great time and also Joel Chan’s word. I still remember those points – 1- Speak carefully. 2 – Speak harmlessly. 3 – Speak Consistently. 4 - Behave wisely. Yay. Underline can remember geh! =)

Okay.. That’s all

HaPpY bIRtHdAy

Guess who's birthday is it?

aNdRe HaR ChOoN SeNg!!!

He is a friend of mine from form 2. We always fight, argue, shouting to each other. However, I can say that those are memories. He has a good heart but he don't really show it. He is a happy-go-lucky person but in times, he will be super emo and he don't want people to disturb. IF anyone disturb him - gone la you. =)

I still can remember those times..

Andre, remember form 2 when I throw a bottle to you? You take my bag, I take yours and we run around the classroom and everyone is so swt with us? When I think back, I feel so foolish.

We are so terrible at times. =) Anyway, if those days without you, it will be so empty, no fun, no jokes, no fights. =)

I hope that you will continue your study and good luck in everything you do and IMPORTANT thing! Trust the Lord. He will guide you. Are you still a christian? =)

Ok, remember to keep in touch - as in phone punya touch. Not you think punya touch. Okay?

God Bless!!!! Luv you & Miss you

[News]

Oh well,

Good news!!!
Very good indeed. I am happy for this news and, I am longing for this news, and, I , I , going to keep it as a secret. Yay! Thank God.

You are Mr. Dumbo for "that"

I am a bad person actually. I am bad. I am.

Well, what we see is what we get?
Not really.
We need to sense it, feel it, do it, think of it, and so on to get.

Today I encounter with 2 people. First is an old beggar. One of my colleague open the glass door and the old beggar want to came in. I quickly tell that beggar not to come in politely. What will you do if you are in my shoes?
I don't know what I should do on that time. In my heart, I want to ask him to just leave this place. In the same time, I want to give him some money. In the same time, I think that he is just a organization like others that cheats people money. I've seen before an old beggar beg for money with a crutch. In 2 hours time I saw him in another destination with a crutch but not for supporting. He holding it and running. I just feel so - speechless. From that onwards, I don't really want to donate money for those people. I don't know what is the true story. Anyway, just now, I feel so sorry for him but yet I did not help him. I still feel guilty.

The second one.
There is this guy who send something over for our company. He came once last week and he is a little bit retarded. Actually, I think I got a phobia. I am afraid of those in wounds, retarded, very ill patient. When I saw him, I am afraid. I don't know why. But for sure, I am guilty with all this kind of feeling. I realize I do have a few phobia. Last time, I was afraid with people praying for me. It just feel not right. I overcome it. Now, seems like I am afraid of more things.

I am a bad person actually. I am bad. I am.

.thanks for wanting me.

[photos] + [updates]

Those are the pics from cell sunday. Not all of it. Just few of it.

I changed my blog layout due to some technical problem. So I temporary apply this first until I found some nicer layout. =) Be patient if you think this is ugly especially with my face in it. Haha. I'll change lor.. hehehe.. Anyway, you know why those 4 people are selected? Because, they are special to me. JG,JG,YY,ET. lolz

You know what? Pimples is multiplying on my face after I make up this two days. That's why I hate make up so much. I just not into this kind of things. Putting stuff on my face. Eww.. I just don't like it. I know I am not pretty but I don't need to put that things on my face cause I don't think by putting that can make me prettier. =.=" It just make me feels not comfortable. I just prefer eye shadow. That's all. Haiz.

You know that I am soft hearted.

It's not a good thing.

[love][me] x [you].

(1)For my only darling - CL and (2) the rest of the day

You know,

Friends come and go in our life
They might give us a good memories or maybe bad memory
They might go happily
They might go angrily
It's all depends about us - the relationship.

In my life, I got lots of friends come and go. I've been moving here and there and this is how I know new friends and lost old friends. If I really want to count how many friends I have, it is uncountable - just like everyone else. However, I only have a friend that I really love so much. She is a special person. A person that knows me very well. I just can't describe. Anyway, just want to tell you that you are very special to me. I am happy to have a friend like you and....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

Loh Chien Ling , Michelle

-you are older than me that's why I am happy-

I hope you had a wonderful birthday with your friends and family. I can't give you a grand surprise birthday party, so I just gave you a small one. I hope you enjoy. =) I hope you like the "mother cow" that I gave you and oh, the 5 hour card. Hahax. Actually, it took more than 5 hours. Don't feel guilty. It all because I was so dumb with arts so I wasted a lot of time in the beginning. Besides, I was busy with the phone. So it took more than 5 hours.. So it is not because you are so special so I did it so special. *what am I talking?*

Chien Ling, I love you. Muahahahaha..

--

Anyway,

Yesterday was a fun day. We had our cell sunday in Aunty Christine house. The word is good. Prayer changes things. =)

It was Aunty Nancy farewell party too actually. After the cell sunday, we went for lunch in Puchong "Restaurant Cheong Wah" *beside the balai bomba*. We bought a cake too for Aunty Nancy and Michelle. It was a surprise for them.

I was so hungry in the car and I hope they had already order the food so that when we reach we can just start eating. However, when we reach, Sis Lai Ming told me they are waiting for us first. T.T sad case. I am so hungry. Then Sis Lai Ming started to order the dishes. The waitress there said that 6 dishes is not enough since we have 17 people altogether. So we order 8 dishes. When our dishes arrived, "OMG" the portion is damn big. It's too late. We have to finish everything on the table. *I'll upload the pics after I get it.* Just by looking at the plate, I am full. I am so full by JUST LOOKING at it. lol.

After the food time, we eat fruits that brought by Monkey. Full like crazy again. Then, cake time. Triple full full full.. I thought Chien Ling know I will celebrate with her. But actually she don't know. She thought I really forgot her birthday. HaHa. Mission accomplished! YAY!

The food is nice

But I don't know bout the price.

It cost RM200++ and actually it is not expensive because the portion is really big and 17 people leh.... and service is good.. WE ARE DAMN FULL.

After lunch, everyone go back home except Joel G and Elisa T. Then want to goes to church because of the BB parents day thingy. Since I feel bored if I go back so early, I tagged along with them where I have no idea I go there for what reason. I kinda regret after I reached there. However too late because I can't go back. It's raining outside when I decided to just take a bus home. So I just enjoy the whole thing and it turn out kinda fun because ...... It is fun.. =.="

Especially the games. Parents are tricky at times. We took some picture. I will upload it when I get it from sasa. Had a great day and also had a bad day.

sorry to someone because I ignore that person for half day.

I know I am bad.

I was sleeping and actually I intend to ignore.

I ignore because I feel like it

You believe?

I am evil. Muahahahaha...

--

Someone: Remember what you promise,

if I tell you the long story,

you must not hate me anymore.

Don't ever break your promise.

I know you are evil..

I am -too

It's Friday

When I walk, I get a fall
I ask why I fall, the answer I got is because I am not tall.

--I know I am short--
--You people just over short--

I got a very bad muscle cramp on my left hand yesterday night. I cried for almost few minutes. I tell my mom that I need an exercise since I am unused for almost 2 years. However, I can’t go for running, badminton, jumping – so what can I do for exercise since I got this back problem and I don’t want to make it worst but I do really need to EXERCISE! If I go for running then my back might give me another few months of pains and also my respiratory system is not so good now. It does not work properly if I over used. Anyone can suggest anything? Wait, this blog seems no one in. No one can suggest anything for me. * =.=” *

My bones are weak today. Not sure what causes it to be like that. Suddenly, I am very afraid. Seems like I having a lot of problem in my body. I am afraid that I might end up like Aya-Kito; 1 litre of tears. For sure it is not because of the disease but died in early years.

Okay, I am going to search for any ice breaker for tonight to make everyone have fun. I hope no one ask to skip ice breaker because I always used my sweats to search for it for everyone. ;)

Slap me. lolz

Is 7th September is a compulsory holiday? I hope it is but mostly my hope crash! There is a church camp next month from 5th to 7th. People were telling me that 7th is a holiday and I am so happy at first but later on I found out 7th is not listed under my company holiday list. I want to take leave but I think my annual leave is not enough since I forgot to take MC on the 6th on this month when I go for MRI. Should I apply unpaid leave? No, I can’t. My mom will be chasing me with a knife if I did that because she don’t like I take unpaid leave for going out. If I am sick then it is a different story. So what shall I do? I know. While they are having fun there, I will be alone in my house hugging my shroom and – sobs? Let’s not think about it now.
-

Anyone here loves art? What about cakes? Cupcakes? Cookies? I came across a website and I was stunned with the author of it. She is awesome – word that I only has for now. People who likes baking and who likes design should really see her work of art. It is wonderful. If you are interested, please log on to this website; delectable or go to her blog. I hope one day I can afford to ask her to design a cake for my mom birthday. I have the idea in my head know. *laughs* I really do hope I can afford one day! =)
-

I’m a little bit confused with what I am doing now. I mean, I want to know what I am thinking. While I am doing things, my head is thinking a lot of things and while I try to sit and think what I am thinking, I am blank. It bothers me a lot. Am I okay? Maybe everything cramp into my head and I can’t think properly and it affect my emotion. I am happy but yet I am emo. * scratch head* It feels weird now. Besides, I am doing something very stupid everyday. I think I really should slap myself as hard as possible to wide awake from my dreams.

Now, I feel so sleepy. I really do deserve a slap. Come people just slap me. =)

Wednesday

H1N1 is getting worst. I hope it will disappear soon.

Everyone is getting sick. Coughing, flu is everywhere. I pray that those who are sick will be healed!

These two days I am happy. I changed the forum layout and I did the header by using Microsoft Power Point yesterday. I know I am very lame for using that to design but I do not have any other sources and I am definitely not a designer, so I have no designer sense. However it turns out to be pretty okay and few youths say it’s nice, so I guess I succeed for the first try! As for today, I am happy – in facebook.

I am looking forward for this Sunday; Cell Sunday in Aunty Christine house. I am kind of disappointed when I know Boys Brigade is going on and my mood was spoilt at first. But later on, I feel its okay without them. We can have more fun while they are not there. We might go for Pyramid too. So let’s enjoy while they suffer! =) I am so evil – as usual teach by Joel Goh.

Okay, I got to back in working spirit! I have lots of things to do and I don’t want “that” someone to talk so much.

ღ◊†·.I got attracted by someone.·†◊ღ

I am sorry if this post makes anyone sad or angry.

I am thinking too much again lately. Tears rolling down without noticed. Yesterday night, I think too much. I think of friends that once I called best friend and still treat them as best friend, has been drew far apart now. We might be meeting each other right now but the feeling is gone. I don’t know how to describe this but, what I can say is I prefer not to be with them. I remembered once a friend said to me “You can tell us everything. We are friends and you even said that we are your best friend. Why not just tell us what you have gone through and what you are going through now? We might able to help you and if not we can be the one who listens.” I never agree with this statement, until today, this statement is still wrong – for me. Can I really tell everything? Can I just tell and they will listen? They might for the first few times. However, they won’t really listen to you after that. They are numb with your talking, they are numb with your problem, they are numb with listening to you, they are annoyed with you and wanted to just ask you to stop telling them things. I feel it now.

People, do you think you really know about me? You might describe me as a loud, talkative, crazy person. I might talk loudly, playing games with everyone, laughing crazily with everyone but deep inside me is different. If I want to be myself, I will totally dissimilar with what you people see me as.

I don’t need people to share my problems with. I just need people to really treat me as a friend. I noticed that now when I try to talk people, they might just nod their heads or replied with a single “oh”, “ya”, “OK”. This makes me feel like not talking my stuff to anyone anymore and when I do not people keep said that I keep everything to myself and do not tell them and they can’t help if I don’t tell. People, try to think how you treat me before saying I don’t want to tell. I’ve been keeping a lot of things to myself lately. I don’t feel like sharing because this is the reason.

I did not share my problem with someone. Don’t say that I rather go to someone that I should not go to, to share my problems. I did not. We were just talking normal things and actually it makes me feels better than those BEST FRIENDS around me. Saying bout best friends, is it what I did is not good enough? Is it I am not worth it to be a best friend of you people? I just don’t know. I can bluntly say now that I eliminate my entire best friend list. I can’t trust anyone for now. I am sorry if I hurt anyone here but it is a fact that I am really tried my best to be just a friend, just a friend to everyone but I failed badly.

To someone who sms-ed me yesterday,

Thank you for telling me you will be sad without me and I always make you happy. You did not regret have a friend like me.
I feel better with what you said to me. What you have said, it goes same to me. Although how sad I am but still I never regretting to be friend with everyone. Not a single person makes me regret. Everyone is my friend.

a day

- I feel not right today.
- Feel like missing something.
- I keep thinking.
- I keep waiting.
- I keep looking.
- No signs of it.

Anyway, I am still in the sick mood. I catch the flu after I went to hospital yesterday. Oh ya, have I tell bout the MRI scans yesterday? Nope, I haven’t because I did not blog anything yesterday. =p
Yesterday Esther fetches me to hospital. I felt so guilty because she has to wait for me. MRI scan is scary for me. I have to go in to the machine. I need to lie down on the bed. Then those people explaining this and that to me. They are very polite to me too maybe due to I am a LITTLE KID for them. =.=” Then there’s a guy hand me a headphone to wear on. One of the lady told me that because the process is very noisy so I better wear it. The guy told me that it is radio. I feel so happy because I can listen to radio. =) Then I asked them how long is the duration inside that thingy since Esther is alone outside waiting for me. What if I will be in there for 3 hours? Then Esther will be outside for 3 hours. -.- The guy said “Kalau you baik-baik tak gerak-gerak, 30 minit lah. Kalau tak baik-baik, 40 minit.” I was like “sorry Esther” =)

Then I went in that MRI machine. SO scary. I was not allowed to move and on my left hand there’s a thing for me to press incase I feel not right. It’s a bell. I feel like pressing it a few times because I am bored. =p I almost press it when the radio start. -.- Scared me. I am so scared! They lady say want me to listen to the radio so that I won’t hear the noisy sound. But, the radio is very soft! I can’t even hear clearly and the process is so LOUD! Worst case of all, it’s malay song. I don’t discriminate malay songs. Just that it’s too rock. Why not put Siti Nurhaliza songs? Aiyoyo.. hehe.. Suddenly, when I made my decision to sleep, everything stop. What happen? They say you are done. So fast? How long I’ve been in there? “You baik-baik, tak gerak, jadi 25 minit ade la.” -.-

“Macam –mana mau gerak? Inside so space-less. Anyway, everything ended earlier than expected. I wanted go for a check up for H1N1 but I afraid Esther need to wait again. So I did not check. I hope I am okay. Okay?! People, don’t come near me. I am really very sick.

Oh ya, my HR manager going to Australia. Hope she have a nice trip. MS. WONG, ENJOY YOUR TRIP… =)

SIck - Again?!

I hate to be sick. I am so weak now. Yesterday I took MC again. I don’t want to but I have no strength to work. The day before, I went to work. I knew that my throat is started to get itchy symptoms. My head was getting heavy, a little cough, my eyes were tired. I told my HR manager that I might go to see the doctor next day. She says why not I go on the same day after work so that I won’t affect my work the next day. Therefore, I dragged myself to the Clinic Mediviron. A 5 minutes walk from my work place. I feel extremely not well. I waited for around 20 minutes for my turn. When it’s my turn, I went in, sit, look at the doctor. WAIT, why this doctor so old? He is not the same guy I came last week. Anyway, I let him examine me. Old man is old man. He does not trust the high-tech facilities. He took the don’t-know-what thingy to put near my ear to check for fever. He says it’s terrible. That machine does not really work. He is right. Because that thingy says I am not fever. So the doctor took out his wallet and took don’t-know-what thingy to put on my forehead to measure my fever and YES, I am FEVER!! Then, he goes. Started to grumble this and grumble that. Then he asked me a few questions that he said

“Girl, I think you better go to the hospital.”

I chuckled.

“Hey girl, it is better to go to the hospital.”

I just nod my head.

Then he asked “Flu?”

“Just now a little but now no, I think”

“GIRL, don’t say now no. You still need to eat the medicine. Don’t skip it.”

“ER…. Okay.”

“I will let you to rest. I give you MC. You want?”

“Er.. Can you give first? If I am alright then, I better go to work.”

“No No. You want then only I give. If not later your boss will laugh at me.”

“Huh? Okay then. I will take rest.”

What a NICE doctor.

Actually I don’t really want to take MC since I took last Friday and this coming Thursday I am going to MRI scan.

However, I took it already larrr.. That night I took the medicine and rest. It is a critical night. I was really sick. I feel like the body is not mine anymore. Difficult to breathe and so on. The next day, I woke up and wanted to go to work. But my body is too weak and also, no voice. So sad..

O’ Lord I pray that you will heal me fast.. AMEN

I’ve been easily get sick these few months. I am so numb with all the medicines I took. Whether it is for my back, my this my that till I really feel numb. YES! NUMB!

Tomorrow I will be going for the MRI scan and maybe go for H1N1 test to ensure I am okay since my facebook comments scare me today. I better go for the check up. Wish me lucks people! =)

Sunday

I am sick – again. I never know the feeling of food poisoning in my life. I heard people said its terrible, painful, and all sorts of things. What I thought is just stomach pain, vomiting and that’s all. Haha. You are so wrong SHERINA!!

I was food poisoned on Thursday. *cries* It hurts me lots. The feelings are indescribable. I thought the whole intestine, stomach, kidneys will come out. It feels like its going to explode anytime. It is so TERRIBLE. Anyway, thank God for immediate healing. Now I am okay BUT I started to cough yesterday night. *cries – again* Sad case right? The throat is itch now. *angry*

Anyway, yesterday was CBC anniversary. We went to Civic Center * if I am not mistaken*. Then few of us headed to NEW PARIS for lunch with Kim’s family. *Thanks Uncle Kim*. After the lunch, we went to SUNWAY PYRAMID. I was protected by FOUR bodyguards. *hehe* 1 girl 4 boys. 2 infront 2 behind. Why always I am the only girl? Lolz. We went “hang kai” till 3.30 p.m. Feel so happy. Cause very long no “hang kai” le. Too bad Elisa and Ying Yi was not there. *T.T*