A lesson I learned

You might be very healthy this minute but you might not breathe in the next minute.
My mom always tells me that life is unpredictable. She says that she might be talking to me this minute but, maybe, the next minute, she won’t be here anymore. Every time she says this to me, I can feel that my heart feels the pain. Who won’t? You know what I always God to do from last time when I am very young. I am very selfish person. I asked God not to let my mom die first. I want to be the one to die first. For I know I can’t live without my mom. She is the only one I have in my life. I rather die first. Sometimes, I hope I can die immediately better than to lose my mom. I know I am so selfish.
Actually what will happen to my mom if she loses me? It will be the same thing for her. She loves me way too much. She will be very sad too. She is so lonely after all and if one day I “go” first, I don’t know what will happen to her. But what can we do? Then I think of something. What if we die together? I think is a best way after all because if I “go” first, she will be very sad. If she “go” first, I will be very sad. So die together is best way for I only have her and she only has me. I am so foolish right? No matter what, we can’t control. It’s just God the one who can control everything. No matter how pain we are, we still need to take it.

Just like Michael Jackson passed away, I keep on thinking, why so suddenly? Why take his life when he just 50 and his upcoming concert are just in next month? Some people says he look healthy when they meet him, but still, now, he is already gone. That’s why life is really unpredictable. We never know what is going to happen in the next minute. I’ve been chasing his news everyday. Although he had gone but there are still ‘spectacular’ news about him. Although it is such a waste that the King of Pop is no longer in this world, but I think it is better for now. He can really have peace. No more problems, no more worried, no need to think to solve any problem. I felt pity with his three little children. They lost their father in a young age. However, they still need to face it and overcome it.

Here, I give my deepest condolence to the Jackson’s family. (Although I don’t know them and they don’t know me.)

It’s a lesson for me to learn. No matter what happens, I got to take it no matter how pain it is. God is the one in control. Death is not bad actually. Death brings peace too. But this not means going to commit suicide or whatsoever. But die naturally. God’s planning. Sometimes dieing is better than suffer in this world. Dieing also means you have accomplished your mission in earth and its time to go somewhere! *haha* (my theory la -not real de)

So everyone, use your day wisely. Do not do something will regret you and do not just sit there and day dreaming. What you want to do, do it while you can. You will never know what you will be in the next minute. It will be such a waste if you just think and do no action.

I think these few days I talked to much bout Michael Jackson. *hehe*
Yesterday, someone ask me “So you like Michael Jackson already. What bout Lee Hom?”
I can tell you that Michael Jackson is more talented. How he dance, how he sing. No one can replace him. As for Lee Hom, always my number one too! So I got two Number ONE!! =) Oh ya, I got 3 Number ONE in my heart actually..

Signed off - - - -

28.06.09

It's 12.25a.m. now and I am still online. I am looking for Michael Jackson songs and videos. I really still can't believe Michael Jackson no longer in this world. Yesterday night, I watch his concert. I think is a very long time ago concert. I am stunned with the crowd. It looks like more than million crowds there. Everyone is crazy for him. I, myself, really very admired how he dance. His leg, his body, and so on. I just feel it such a waste he is no longer here. it such a waste that his 50 concert is starting soon but he can't perform. I know that if he still alive, it will be a blast! He is a great performer. He got his style. His moonwalk is really NICE! I hope that the tv will show morenews bout him! I really want to see! 

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Anyway, this 2 days was in Tropicana City Mall performing. The songs that I sing is not so nice. I don't know why I can't sing properly. I feel so sad! I am not a good singer. haiz. T.T

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miss you... 

MJ!

I still can’t believe Michael Jackson passed away. It’s such a waste. His next 50 concert is around the corner! I really like him from I am young although there are lot of his negative news but still I think he is very talented in singing as well as dancing. I am watching his concert now. Although I am so tired but I am not gonna miss this concert man! Its so YENG!! 

Sleepy sherina -as always

“Sherina, you look sleepy” He said.

Yesterday, I have no idea what happen with my head! I think I got a little problem with it. I set my alarm clock at 7.00 a.m. the night before. On that very day when the alarm rang, I change it to 7.30 a.m. and set another alarm at 8.01 a.m., and then I continue my sleep. However, nothing came out from my alarm. There are only 2 reasons – 1 – the alarm clock got problem; that means my phone got problem. 2 – I am a pig till I can’t hear the alarm clock. So what do you think the reason is? I would say is number 1 to make myself better! =) Anyway, I woke up at 8.40 a.m. and I rush like crazy to the toilet, changed, tidy-up my messy hair, take my stuff and RUN out from the house and I must really say this THANK GOD THERE IS A BUS WAITING FOR ME! So end up I reach office around 9.03 a.m. Supposedly I am late for 3 minutes but we started to count the lateness after 9.05 a.m. So I am not LATE! However, my eyes wanted to close for every second but due to its payroll time, I am extremely busy and I got to OPEN MY EYES WIDELY.

Yesterday night, I see my alarm at 7.00 a.m. again and another at 8.00 a.m. So today the alarm rang at 7.00 a.m. and I continue my sleep till 8.00 a.m. another came. I stop it and changed it to 8.15 a.m. However, my darling calls me at 8.08 a.m. and I am awake!

“Sherina, you awake?” Darling says
“I should by now.” I say.

I am really extremely very tired! Even today my eyes are dropping! Yesterday night I did not online but still I slept quite late! Nowadays, I could not really sleep early. Whether it is because I am working or because I just can’t sleep! My goodness! What is happening to me! My mom really afraid that one day I will faint. I really will if I continue to be like that. I really need a day off! These coming 3 days will be very busy for me as the event is coming up. My mom is going to kill me!

Although it will be very tiring for this few days, but I will do all I can to help those who in needs. What I am worried now is the singing. We haven’t’ gone through all the new songs that we are performing this Sunday. We only practice all the Saturday ones! So I hope I will be able to sing properly on that day. Oh ya, I will be singing LEE HOM SONGS. They will be like “UH? LEE HOM? A GIRL?” Haha

Oh ya, for those who are sick, I hope you guys will recover soon. =)

Gastric day!

It has been a very long time since I got a gastric. I remembered a few years back when I am still staying at Puteri 10, there are few months when the clock strike 7.00 p.m. everyday, my stomach will pain till I can’t move. I remember Wee Ric brought me to see doctor and bought me a bottle or two of apple juice that time. It has been a long time and I forgotten how pain is it. However, today I experience it once again. The feeling is just the same like last time. I really feel like crying in my office today. It almost kills me! All of this is because I did not eat for more than 24 hours! Yesterday lunch I took McD and I don’t feel eating actually. Yesterday night in bumble bee I was given “roti bakar” but I did not finish it. I think I just give a bite. Today whole day I did not put anything in my mouth except a couple of cups of milo. I really do not have any appetite to eat. Now, this leads me to the painfulness.
What makes me worst?
I am going to sing a song with darling CL this Sunday. I translated the lyrics and I really have no idea what to say. Like Gab say, I got to move on. So I will sing as loud as I can especially that song!!!!

The song name is wo zhi dao - BY2

rest

Seriously I need a good rest . A good one. I need it

A day with hope!

Walking along the long road through the cool wind makes me feel refreshing today. It has been a long time since I can feel the air is cooling rather than the previous few weeks that it is always has been hot and polluted. The cool air makes me feel better after a day with so many misunderstandings around, frustrated, tired, wounded knees, a fall with wet jeans and shirt, bad vocal, back pain, walking with a not-function able shoes, headache and so on. What a bad Sunday I had?! One thing that I think is great for yesterday whole day is the worship. It is a great worship; unexpectedly.

Since today is a Monday and I had a great start, I would leave all the things behind and forget about everything that had and has happened and happening in my life. I would not think about anything else – for now. I would not care anyone for thinking who I am anymore. I am a little bit too tired all over this matter. It’s always been my fault and always it will relate to my background. However, I will just care not this small matter that always stressed me out. Everything is over now. A brand new start is starting now.

Thanks JG for being so kind of you for doing me a favor. Although I am not sure you succeed to help me or not but you say you will try your best. Besides, thanks for helping me to explain what is really going on and I hope you will always remind me to not to do something that I should not do for I am a soft-hearted person like E says although I am not sure whether I am soft-hearted like E says. Anyway, you don’t really hate me after all. Thanks for saying I am not “that kind of girl”. =) We are the psychologist. =)

Here, I would like to say that I prefer to be “alone”. It is not the right time for anything for I am going to study soon (if possible). I still want to enjoy my “lonely” life.If God say it is the right time to not be “lonely” then it’s a different story. For now, I want to focus on work and my new plan. I just want everyone to know that I prefer this way better than anything else.

Oh ya, I will make myself to wake up earlier every morning to read the bible. I think this is the most important thing for me now! No more late sleep and no more wakes late. =)

ONE IMPORTANT NOTE: This is just a thought of me when I walking down the road today morning. I hope no offence to anyone here. Thanks.

A date for tomorrow

Looking forward for the date tomorrow. =) Introduce by Gabriel.

Not like what you think okay! Completely 2 different thing..

I am not desperate kays? ;)

sorry seems to be the hardest word

this is why I ike him! =) LOVE = )

The only thing

"What will happen to the youth one day?" I always ask myself.

Today, I chat with one of the aunties. She says that one day there will be no more youth. Now I am wondering whether it will happen or not. I am afraid now for I am convince with what she said.

What can I do now?
Like I said to one of my friend. I just can pray! That's what I can do for now.


p/s: Having major headache. Pain!

meaningful

The sun cast its ray,

A beautiful meaning to me.

It just a dream, luckily

Lying down on green pasture, looking at the blue sky, feel the rushing wind, fall asleep – how good is it? So relaxing.

Everything is perfect until I heard the sound of “moos”. Wait! Cows? I feel something is dripping on my face. I open my eyes and I saw the cow’s head in front of me; dripping saliva on my head! Ewww… I was awake now and realize that I am not lying on this grazing land alone but with a number of cows around me. It’s not a good dream for me. It’s a NIGHTMARE..

Especially with cows..

Missing myself for you,

Nothing much today

Yesterday was working in bumble bee and some of the youth came for practices included Jason Loh. It was kind of fun when Ying Yi, Jason and me was playing guitar, singing and playing piano for S.H.E songs. Although I am a little bit headache on that time but I manage to forget about it. The power of craziness. =) We should have more jamming session next time where Jason Loh can come over and we can find some Chinese or English songs to play together. Oh ya, Jason Loh love “One Way” by Planet Shakers. Next time if we invite him to church, we got to sing “One Way”! =)

Anyway, I am still sick! It’s INFLUENZA. FLU FLU FLU! Medicine could not cure me. Don’t know why! I am so frustrated now. Especially with this running nose and headache!

Oh ya, 1 more important thing. That day my heart beats very fast. VERY FAST. I was about to sleep, suddenly my heart beats very fast. Feel so not comfortable on that time. It happens a few times already. My colleague says I don’t only need a back check up. I need a WHOLE BODY check up. From the head till the toe.

-Going cell tonight-
-Want to practice guitar-
-Want to be the first “girl” guitarist in church-
-Want to improve my singing skill-
-Want to get a boyfriend soon- just joking. =p

I got tricked today?! =)

Today, I was working in me office and there is a “Singh” came. I thought he is one of our supplier or something so I let him in. He asked me whether my boss is in the office. I say no. Anyway if my boss is in, I don’t think I will tell him too. He started to say that I look cheerful and happy-go-lucky person. In my heart I was saying no matter what you say I don’t care. Don’t try to read me because I won’t believe. In my heart, I keep repeating Jesus name. In my mind, only God knows what happening in my life. He continues to tell me that I look lucky! Then he asked for my full name. I just say “Sherina”. He asked me to write my name on a piece of paper. I followed what he says. Then he gave me a paper and put on my palm. I just take it without knowing what it is. Then he asked me to give him a number from 1-5. I gave him number 3. He said if the paper that he gave me is 3 then I will be very lucky. However, if is 2 or 4 then I am so BAD LUCK. I opened the paper and its number 3. He say.. “God bless you” He says that I am lucky again. Then he opens his diary and asked me to put the paper in the diary. I followed. Then, he says… “Put some money of faith”. =.=’’ I took a note of 5 but before I open my wallet he say “Please put at least RM20” Super sweat! I told him I do not have such number of money although I did have. I told him I can’t give him so much! He says then gives him a little bit. I put my RM5 in his diary. He asked me to put RM10. I say no. I can’t. Then he says okay. However, he still says I will be lucky. He says that I look cheerful outside but I am full of sorrow inside. Then he left.

Those who read this might say I am so dumb. Why would I give him the RM5? Why not just chase him away from the office? Sometimes people have no choice that’s why they need to do this. I know most of them cheat people. Like today, he came in and his only motive is money. I know it so clearly but I still give him the money. After gave him the money most probably I won’t be taking my lunch or maybe take something lighter. People might think why?! Why I sacrifice myself for him? It’s easy. Bless him with the RM5. Maybe this RM5 can help him to do something. I don’t think other people will give him any money. He might no business for today. Maybe he has no money with him. Maybe this Rm5 can save his life. Who knows? When I saw him pass by my office door just now, in my heart, I prayed, “God, please bless this person.”

I think I wasted RM12-13 while I worked here. First time is the one who says his motor got problem. I gave him RM5. Second time is the lady who claims she is a Christian and selling bookmarks for the poor. I think I gave her a few Ringgits. This is the third time –RM5. I hope no one come in again to ask money from me. I know I will give. I am so soft-hearted.

Giving is better than receiving? Yes!

Oh ya.. He showed me his card, he is from India. His name is Gobind Singh something. But he is not the one you guys think. =)

Special Someone

Yesterday night I am a little bit too hyper. I could not sleep. I wanted to sleep earlier but I just feel so energetic. I told this person who I smsed with, that I really could not sleep. I don’t know why. It might because I slept early in the previous day. This person who smsed with me asked me to hug my “shroom” and sleep or xxxxx. All of the sudden, I really feel sleepy. =)

Why am I posting this? Just too random. I just want you to know it is good to have you be my side. Happy, sad, or angry you will be there. Even sleepy times! Heh heh. Without you my life will miss some colors. Like a rainbow that has only 6 colors. Not perfect.
Although no one is perfect.. =p
Only God!

Anyway,
I am crapping now. I am so bored! Tonight back to Bumble Bee. There goes my week.
Tuesday: Bumble Bee
Wednesday: Worship Practice
Thursday: Bumble Bee
Friday: Cell Group
Saturday: Working + Bumble Bee.
Oh no! Now my routine is back! Lack of sleep and I am sure my flu will stick with me if I am so tired! Ish Ish Ish!

I need a rest.. Rest In Peace. Haha

63 6477 968

06.06.2009 Picnic (Part 2)

I’ve been too emo nowadays, am I? I read back this few weeks post, I feel that I am once again fall in the pit where I always used to be. I better change or else all my readers are gone! xD

Let’s post something happy!
On
06.06.2009 the youth, ONEyouth, went to Hutan Lipur Lentang for a picnic. =) For your information, it is located in between Bentong and Genting. (I think so) It is SO far from Puchong. You got to pass by Genting if you want to go there. Far huh?! I know. My mom even ask me “What?! So far?! Why must you guys go picnic at somewhere so FAR.”

Anyway,…
We depart from our place after breakfast around 9.45a.m. I sit Gabriel’s car with Elisa and Chien Ling. First time I do not have any problem with long distance. I used to get car sick but that day I am so HEALTHY. =) The journey took around 2 hours to reach there due to jam and also waiting and go toilet. =.=” We reached there around 11 something and we start with a game. Splashing game. I know that game is a little bit too lame especially using that kind of umbrella, however, we do have fun! After the game, we eat some food. There are 20 people there but Elisa and Gabriel prepare more than that amount of Fried Mee. O.o Anyway, the mee is nice. Thanks sasa. =)

What I love the most was playing in the river. The water is so cold and so refreshing! I love it! However, I am so dumb. The first step I put in the river I fell. Ouch! My knee. Ouch.. So sad. Luckily there is someone beside me to support me. Thank you. But I am not sure who that is. I am so sorry. Please do let me know if you read this. =)

The river looks not clean but actually it is not dirty if you were in there. We “rendam” in the river for 2 hours I think. Hehe. We walked down the river then up again the sleep, lie down, and so much more. Oh ya, forgotten to ask Sheng Jian do the “u ga u ga”. =) He he.. Should took a picture of Sheng Jian lying.

What I can say for so far is, I love this trip. Hope more will come. And I would like to take this opportunity to say Thank You for those who came.

Thank You to:
1. Gabriel
2. Lai Ming
3. Jonathan (although he a little bit not so good because trying to over take Gab)
4. Uncle Chris
These are those who fetch all of us to the destination safely.

Thank You to:
1. Gabriel
2. Elisa
3. Lai Ming
4. Goh’s Family
5. and myself =p
These are those who prepared the food for all of us.

Thank You to:
1. Uncle Chris
2. Aunty Yeh Charn
3. Joel Goh
These are those who took care of our belongings when we were down there and took pictures of us.

Thank You to:

1. Lai Ming
2. Gabriel
3. Uncle Chris
4. Aunty Yeh Charn
5. Jonathan
6. Shirley
7. Sharon
8. Zhen Bi
9. Vivian
10. Jeriel
11. Joel Goh
12. Sheng Jian
13. Elisa
14. Sherina
15. Ying Yi
16. Joshua
17. Jason Loh
18. Michelle Loh
19. Rachel
20. Jasmine

Pictures will be upload soon after I get it. =)

06.06.2009 - Saturday (Part 1)

We had picnic last Saturday. It was good actually. I am really happy because Chien Ling and Jason was there. It has been a long time since we went outing together! I hope we will meet more... Oh ya.. Thanks to darling for taking a picture of me~ I like it so much. =)

I like this so much. =)

=)

Ponder!

I am sick. Yes I am sick again! having flu now. A bad one!

Today, one of the youth ask me; Do I blame God of my condition?

Actually I really ponder for a while and think whether do I blame God. I can't say totally no because sometimes I will say " Ish God why I am sick again?! Why my back pain again! Why this and that?
But, in the same time I do thank God for letting me sick. I am not insane okay?! I don't love to be sick but I just feel that everytime I fall sick, I will know that there are lot of people who still cares for me. I am not alone. They are with me. And also I can tell people how great is God for healing me. Although for now, my back is not okay yet, I still pray that God will heal me one day. I said this always.. Ask and you shall receive. Knock and the door will be open to you. And God will make a way when there seems to be no way.

I might fall badly but this is because I have to learn how to overcome! There is reason for everything. So I just surrender to Him..

A little secrets of menuiq

I've been thinking too much lately,

Thinking of you and me,

I've been missing someone lately,

Someone that is important to me.

We are far from each other,

We can't be meeting for a period of time,

We will need to keep this feeling,

Until the time that we can meet again.

Its late now

I am here in my room again. =)
If you did not ask me to not reply you, I will not reply too because I’ve said that I won’t be a busybody again. I am tired of telling people this and that. I should now tell myself this and that. Everyone has a different way of thinking. I can’t force people to go my way and think my way. What I can do is to pray everyday to ask the Lord to make my mind set straight. Doing the right thing, heading the right path; all I submit to God to lead. I just hope God can show you the right way, the right path, the right mindset, and so on.