Hello! I am here blogging in my room using laptop! Not mine. =) Internet also not mine. All different from different people!
Anyway, I was keying the database but end up using 3 hours to just key in 40 details. This is because discussing bout what song we are singing for next month. Wasted a lot of time. T.T
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Sometimes I would prefer to lock myself up from everyone else because I think no matter how close you and your friend or your family is there will be times where disagreements occurs. And, it always makes me feels not right. Not to say I want them to agree with me each time but at least understand my feelings and my way of thinking. They can always give their opinions to me but seems that they just shoot you without giving you any back door. I just feel so not right. I always try to help as much as I can but people always see me with different pairs of eyes. Let thy past be thy past isn’t it? But why people always dig out my past?!
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I just want a simple life. Just a very simple life, can I? I feel I have nobody with me. I know I should not say this but I really feel that especially today.
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Who am I to advise people around me for I am a person who need advises too?
I really got to change my attitude! I've been too busybody now. =.=
I just feel tired and want to let go. Let it go ba.
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Sherina, do your part! That's enough! Remember! God will make a way when there seems to be no way! He works in ways we cannot see!
He will make a way for me. =)
Sunday, May 31
Saturday, May 30
I had enough of this!
Had a little argument with my mom bout next month event. Not really argue but just a little disagreement between us. I am still thinking whether I should go for the event or not. If I do so, I feel bad. But in the same time, if I go for the event, I feel bad too! I just hate to make decision and yet I always need to decide which way I should choose. I just hate this kind of feelings. Either do it or don’t do it. No matter which way I choose, I just feel sad. Maybe I should just let be until the day comes because I really can’t give any answer now nor decide anything now.
Thursday, May 28
Where?!
I want to see the stars
Stars that are bright
Stars that give me hopes
Stars that make me feel refresh!
O' stars, dimana aku boleh jumpa?!
Wednesday, May 27
My life will go on (2)
Woke up earlier today to go office earlier due to there is too many things are waiting for me. However, reach there around 8.40 a.m. so it’s not so early after all. Manage to key in all the leaves and doing filing later. Uhhhh.. ROUTINES. Just like what I said yesterday. Ish Ish. I have no idea actually what I want to do?! What is not a routine for me? I have no direction for now.
Being a little bit emo this few days. Maybe because of sick, back ache, leg muscle pain, tooth pain, sore throat and, and, so on. Ish Ish.. Sick and sick and sick. I am really sick of it. Sometimes I will ask what will happen if I am going to die soon? What will happen to people around me? Where will I go? Heaven or Hell? What will happen to the people I care? My friends. Will they feel sad? Or they don’t care? I know, I know, I am being so foolish here asking this kind of question but what if I am really dying soon? Nobody knows.
Perhaps I am just thinking too much. Being too serious this week.
Hope something or someone will make me happy.
Wait… Perhaps.. Tomorrow I will be happy..
Going to x-ray tomorrow. What a coincidence! =)
P/S: Elyssa, if you can’t comment in chat box.. Try to refresh it a few times.. My blog cacated, I think. Or.. Put comment there ba.. =p
Being a little bit emo this few days. Maybe because of sick, back ache, leg muscle pain, tooth pain, sore throat and, and, so on. Ish Ish.. Sick and sick and sick. I am really sick of it. Sometimes I will ask what will happen if I am going to die soon? What will happen to people around me? Where will I go? Heaven or Hell? What will happen to the people I care? My friends. Will they feel sad? Or they don’t care? I know, I know, I am being so foolish here asking this kind of question but what if I am really dying soon? Nobody knows.
Perhaps I am just thinking too much. Being too serious this week.
Hope something or someone will make me happy.
Wait… Perhaps.. Tomorrow I will be happy..
Going to x-ray tomorrow. What a coincidence! =)
P/S: Elyssa, if you can’t comment in chat box.. Try to refresh it a few times.. My blog cacated, I think. Or.. Put comment there ba.. =p
Tuesday, May 26
My life will go on.
The path that I am heading now is a path where I have no idea where my destination is. I am just like a blind man; see nothing and know nothing what is going to happen in front. I am no longer the little girl who cares nothing at all. I am a grown up child who is going to be 19 years old this year that are now working and facing problem everyday. Sometimes I really want to tell everyone that I want to give up. Just give up everything. I really feel very tired. Sometimes I will ask myself. I am not even 20 years old but why I need to go through all this things? WHY? Why I need to go through all this went I am secondary? Why now people can go for further education but I got to work like a cow here?! Question left unanswered. Instead of giving up, I got to go on with my life. How am I going to give up?! Giving up what?! I have nothing to give up. I can’t give up my job. I can’t give up my family. I can’t give up my life. So what can I give up?! I really have no idea! But I really hate all this routines going on. I am extremely tired! Just so tired!
Things always go upside down for me. Whenever I hope to do something, it will just turn from the way I wanted. When I wanted to continue my study, everything seems good in the beginning but later on it turns from the way I wanted. And now, if I want to continue my studies, I got to give up my work. How am I going to survive then? Maybe I am being to negative but I really can’t see my future. Am I going to be like what I am now? If yes, I hope I can go on. If no, so what I am in the future? I have no idea.
Frankly, I hate what I am doing now. Like I said it’s a routine. This routine will be forever if I don’t move on? I won’t get a higher post due to I have only a SPM certificate where the results is not that good too. But, I can’t be working as what I am now another 10 years time! When I imagine that I just give a big laugh. When I am, uhm.. let’s says I am 30 years old, sitting here answering calls and doing the same things.. I can say that I will be ashamed of myself.
People always say my mom is a burden for me to move on. No! It is not true! I am not sure about anything and everything but I am so sure that my mom is not a burden for me. People ask me to just leave my mom and do something better. I’ll never do that. My dad left us when I am just 18 months old. My mom is the one who take care of me for all this years. Whatever she did, all is because of one reason – me. She can just leave me also because of the situation on that time. But she did not. She raises me up. Give me education. She always tells me that she have nothing to give me, only education she can. That’s why she always asks me to study. She never pressured me about my study. When I am in form 5 I stop schooling for a month or two. People say is all my mom’s fault. No! I stop schooling because I wanted to work. That time we are having very difficult time. As a mom, she already does what she can do. She even wants to leave me so that I can have a better life. She is the one who give up everything for me. If is not because of me she won’t have all this trouble. She will be living in Singapore working happily and maybe have a good husband =p. Who knows?! But she took the path where she knows it will be difficult for her and gone through this path with sweats and tears. She is a wonderful mom. If is not because of her, today, I might not be able blogging here. I might not even survive until today. She saves my life. All of this because of just one reason. SHE IS MY MOTHER. She has the responsibility to take care of me. That day, one of my friends says that my mom is not taking up the responsibility as a mother. It is so wrong for me to work and she staying in the house and waiting for my salary.
First, she is working. She is taking care of the little baby. Although my mom is a little bit dumb dumb because she charge people with the most “incredible” salary. RM300! Yeah! My mom is a soft hearted person. Anyway, secondly, she never waits there, do nothing and take my salary. Because my expenses is so high! Food, transport, daily stuff and so on. Thirdly, it is not wrong for her to take all my salary, because for 19 years she take good care of me. This is just a small portion I give back to her. Now, it’s the time for me to take care of her.
That’s why for me now; wherever I am going to go I’ll bring her with me. All of this because of just one reason. I AM HER DAUGHTER. I have the responsibility to take care of her.
Anyway, I should end it here. It has been a long time I post something so long. I feel like posting something long because Elisa says my post is so SHORT but end up something a little bit emo. So, Elisa are you satisfied with my “long” post now?
Things always go upside down for me. Whenever I hope to do something, it will just turn from the way I wanted. When I wanted to continue my study, everything seems good in the beginning but later on it turns from the way I wanted. And now, if I want to continue my studies, I got to give up my work. How am I going to survive then? Maybe I am being to negative but I really can’t see my future. Am I going to be like what I am now? If yes, I hope I can go on. If no, so what I am in the future? I have no idea.
Frankly, I hate what I am doing now. Like I said it’s a routine. This routine will be forever if I don’t move on? I won’t get a higher post due to I have only a SPM certificate where the results is not that good too. But, I can’t be working as what I am now another 10 years time! When I imagine that I just give a big laugh. When I am, uhm.. let’s says I am 30 years old, sitting here answering calls and doing the same things.. I can say that I will be ashamed of myself.
People always say my mom is a burden for me to move on. No! It is not true! I am not sure about anything and everything but I am so sure that my mom is not a burden for me. People ask me to just leave my mom and do something better. I’ll never do that. My dad left us when I am just 18 months old. My mom is the one who take care of me for all this years. Whatever she did, all is because of one reason – me. She can just leave me also because of the situation on that time. But she did not. She raises me up. Give me education. She always tells me that she have nothing to give me, only education she can. That’s why she always asks me to study. She never pressured me about my study. When I am in form 5 I stop schooling for a month or two. People say is all my mom’s fault. No! I stop schooling because I wanted to work. That time we are having very difficult time. As a mom, she already does what she can do. She even wants to leave me so that I can have a better life. She is the one who give up everything for me. If is not because of me she won’t have all this trouble. She will be living in Singapore working happily and maybe have a good husband =p. Who knows?! But she took the path where she knows it will be difficult for her and gone through this path with sweats and tears. She is a wonderful mom. If is not because of her, today, I might not be able blogging here. I might not even survive until today. She saves my life. All of this because of just one reason. SHE IS MY MOTHER. She has the responsibility to take care of me. That day, one of my friends says that my mom is not taking up the responsibility as a mother. It is so wrong for me to work and she staying in the house and waiting for my salary.
First, she is working. She is taking care of the little baby. Although my mom is a little bit dumb dumb because she charge people with the most “incredible” salary. RM300! Yeah! My mom is a soft hearted person. Anyway, secondly, she never waits there, do nothing and take my salary. Because my expenses is so high! Food, transport, daily stuff and so on. Thirdly, it is not wrong for her to take all my salary, because for 19 years she take good care of me. This is just a small portion I give back to her. Now, it’s the time for me to take care of her.
That’s why for me now; wherever I am going to go I’ll bring her with me. All of this because of just one reason. I AM HER DAUGHTER. I have the responsibility to take care of her.
Anyway, I should end it here. It has been a long time I post something so long. I feel like posting something long because Elisa says my post is so SHORT but end up something a little bit emo. So, Elisa are you satisfied with my “long” post now?
no matter what I have to move on .. for now..
Monday, May 25
A note to heaven...
Girl,
I miss you so much. I am thinking am I a friend. I am a bad friend, maybe... I hope you are enjoying your "life" there.
I miss you so much. I am thinking am I a friend. I am a bad friend, maybe... I hope you are enjoying your "life" there.
Friends come and go in our life
Some you can still see them
Some you won't see them anymore
I hope I can see you "one day".
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Is a month of missing "someone" deeply and,
a month of thinking another "someone" crazily.
Sad and happy..
One girl
One boy
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO "KYS" - loveyousomuchie~
and and...
crazyboutyousomuch
Saturday, May 23
Back! =)
Hey! I am back.
Sorry for lack of updates! I think I was away for more than one week.
I was sick and also, I have nothing to blog about. You know, I am a person that easily lost inspiration. When something inspired me, I can blog, blog, and blog.
Anyway, maybe I will post a few posts today..
As I said earlier.. I was sick and... I am still sick. T_T yea.. Having back pain this few weeks. I have no idea what is happening to my back. I was on MC for 3 days. T_T I am so sorry for making everyone worry about me. I feel so guilty but in the same time I am thankful that there are still friends around me to support me when I am really down. Oh ya.. Nevertheless, my mother. She is very super duper worry about me! Sorry Mom! =.(
I will go for x-ray by next week.. *Hopefully* So people please pray that this back is okay.. Haiz.. There the $$ goes.. I am dead for this month and next month again! Ish Ish Ish!! Having sore throat now! I think due to LOL too much in CG yesterday with the crazy girls.. Yea! Yesterday the guys are sane and the girls are insane. =)
Youth is a place for me to find happiness. Without them I don't know what I will be. However, this few weeks I was very afraid! I am afraid that one day the Youth will just separate in their own ways. The youth is no more the youth. It is so pain to see people leaving one by one. I don't want this to happen but yet I know it will happen if we don't change. Actually I want to say sorry to the leaders for the mother's day lunch. The youth is too close to each other and we did not open to others. We sit with the youth and talk together. Giving excuses. I am so sorry.
Last time we were asked to concern bout each other, talk to each other. It is a very hard task to do it. Now, we can't separate because we want to talk and talk and talk to each other. Now, it is a very difficult task to ask us to stop. Very funny...
I don't know what to say or do now. I just can pray and ask God.
Sorry for lack of updates! I think I was away for more than one week.
I was sick and also, I have nothing to blog about. You know, I am a person that easily lost inspiration. When something inspired me, I can blog, blog, and blog.
Anyway, maybe I will post a few posts today..
As I said earlier.. I was sick and... I am still sick. T_T yea.. Having back pain this few weeks. I have no idea what is happening to my back. I was on MC for 3 days. T_T I am so sorry for making everyone worry about me. I feel so guilty but in the same time I am thankful that there are still friends around me to support me when I am really down. Oh ya.. Nevertheless, my mother. She is very super duper worry about me! Sorry Mom! =.(
I will go for x-ray by next week.. *Hopefully* So people please pray that this back is okay.. Haiz.. There the $$ goes.. I am dead for this month and next month again! Ish Ish Ish!! Having sore throat now! I think due to LOL too much in CG yesterday with the crazy girls.. Yea! Yesterday the guys are sane and the girls are insane. =)
Youth is a place for me to find happiness. Without them I don't know what I will be. However, this few weeks I was very afraid! I am afraid that one day the Youth will just separate in their own ways. The youth is no more the youth. It is so pain to see people leaving one by one. I don't want this to happen but yet I know it will happen if we don't change. Actually I want to say sorry to the leaders for the mother's day lunch. The youth is too close to each other and we did not open to others. We sit with the youth and talk together. Giving excuses. I am so sorry.
Last time we were asked to concern bout each other, talk to each other. It is a very hard task to do it. Now, we can't separate because we want to talk and talk and talk to each other. Now, it is a very difficult task to ask us to stop. Very funny...
I don't know what to say or do now. I just can pray and ask God.
You ask me why
Why I am so different?
Thursday, May 14
teehee.. xD
Okay. I got two things to blog for today!
First! To someone very special!
Thank you for giving me the mushroom on Sunday! =) <3
It mario mushroom but I like it.. I am thinking where to put this cute mushroom. teehee... xD
Thank you for being such a wonderful sis all the time. Throughout these years, having you as a friend of mine, I am really very glad that God placed me in this church. =)
you know who you are.... *the ms stars & ms dolphin*
Secondly! To someone very old. xD =) You turn 23.. YOU know, 23.. 20 +3?? 30-7?? haha..
haha.... Anyway, Kor Happy birthday yea... God will always bless you abundantly! xD
lalala.... lalalal..... Ahem... Happy birthday....
Monday, May 11
Thursday, May 7
Back pain...
Hey people,
Still remember Sherina with the back pain?
Still remember Sherina with the back pain?
Sobs. It hurts and I want to break that back! Ishhhhh... T.T
My heart will go on
You say you gave me your heart
You say I crush it
You say you are hurt
You say and you say and you say
Where's the heart that I have been waited for so long,
Once, I thought it is given to me but yet it is not
Once, it almost reach my hand but YOU snatch it away and
give it to someone else.
How many times my hope breaks
How many times my heart breaks
How many time I breaks
When can this breaking stop?
First time - my heart breaks into just tenth pieces
I can easily pick it up and put it together.
Then - my heart breaks into hundred pieces
It is painful to pick it one by one to put in back together
Yet I did it because of YOU
and I remind myself not to get hurt again
Again - my heart breaks into thousand pieces
I really wanted to just let this heart to be just like that
I have no strength to pick it and put it together
Yet, I do it for YOU.
I pick it up carefully make sure I am not hurt by the small pieces that will cut me
Now - my heart breaks into million pieces
I have no strength and afraid to pick it up this time
I have no strength because I picked up too many times
I am afraid because this tiny pieces will cuts me and hurt me more.
I am afraid because this heart will break again
My heart breaks because I waited your heart for too long
My heart breaks because your heart did not reach me
My heart breaks because your heart always go for the other person
My heart breaks because your heart will never come to me
You said that if I want the heart I will get it
But how long I waited that heart to come?
You said You said and You said and I am NUMB now
However, my heart will go on now.... by myself....
TRUST
I trust someone too much and what I get is hurt. Yet, I, still, TRUST hxx.
I am really hurt this time but I know I will recover fast and I'd let go everything.
Saturday, May 2
Lee Hom Concert on 2/5/2009
HOHOHO.. Today is the big day for all Lee Hom's fan! I am so sad. I am not going due to no money but I'll make sure the next concert I'll go! Lee hom Jia you for tonight. The concert in Singapore was a BLAST! (See people blog so I know) I hope tonight all Lee Hom's fans will enjoy and if possible take lot of pictures with lee hom.. Oh yea.. My friend, Mei Ling. Remember to hug lee hom if you got the chance! ENJOY YEA MEI LING!! Lee Hom Lee Hom Gambate!! =)
Oh yea!Happy advance birthday Lee hom! ..
Sorry
Sorry! Image from: sorry- i am not sure.. found it in google
Just want to say sorry to whoever I hurt before. I think sometimes I don't really know how to cares about people's feeling. Sorry about that. I always take things for granted. Last time, now and I hope its not forever!! Last week, eventually I abit harsh to someone. My tone and sentence is kinda not so good. Sorry. So sorry! I really feel guilty to someone. So I blog it here to apologise!
I will CHANGE! Amen!
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