Sunday, May 1

"How are you?"

"So how are you nowadays?"

I dislike this question - a lot. Seriously I don't feel comfortable when people ask me this especially those I don't really know. Those who I know it's okay because I can tell them my stuff. But for those I am not very close, how to answer when I am not very good? "Fine! (with a smile)"? If I am fine I am okay but what if I am not? 

Perhaps you might think that what a weird person I am. I can always just reply "fine". But I always feel that what if I am not at that moment? So means I have to lie? A question that I can't find a good answer to answer. 

Anyway, back to myself. Nowadays things just goes good and, bad. Nothing is perfect. So I have to bear with everything. Sometimes I feel that I want to lock myself to somewhere that I can hear nothing and see nothing. At times I feel I am a big burden for my mom. I am very tired. Although I always looks like I am crazy and talk a lot, I am not what you think. I seriously don't know what can I do. I want to have a better life but things just don't look good for me. When things started to look good, suddenly something else will come out and I will feel down. What can I do? I think what I left to do is to PRAY. I really need the Lord to show me the way and lead me and of course, BLESS me and my mom. Sometimes I feel like I want to talk. But I don't know who can I turn to. I am just so feeling weak. I need a break - from this real world. 

Sign off,

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